seasons of life

SEASONS OF LIFE
The window in the front room gave Mike his world view. It had big wide glass doors which had not been opened for many years now, dust had accumulated all around the corners . He had also spilled coffee in a few sections and the stain had caked all over. He tried to keep coffee in the stained area most of the time, but for some reason the stain seemed to have grown over the years. The edgings of the window needed some repair too , the crack had started to show in a few areas.
The Maple tree standing a few feet from the window helped to confirm his idea of the seasons, which was formed by the clothes worn by his visitors and also by the weather channel. The tree must be over 20 years old by now, he thought. He loved fall season, when the tree decides to dump the leaves it had carefully grown over the past several months. Maple leaves danced around in the breeze before settling down on the ground. Some of the leaves came by to visit him, by staying on the window for a little too long before giving in to gravity. The tree seemed to enjoy the freedom from leaves after working hard on shedding them for days, now it is time to rest.
Mike’s life had been mostly contained in that one room for the past 7 years, before that he was the citizen of the world. His life was filled with fun , travelling , girls, money, power, everything that a man could possibly want. Possibly he had fulfilled everything in his first 36 years, should he have slowed down?? He could have spread it around a little more. His brush with death happened when his Honda swerved over to meet the oncoming truck. He had tried to remember the exact event many times but everything seemed to be in a blur. He was informed that he was in a coma for several months only to wake up in a state of paralysis. He had limited movement of his left hand and had full use of the facial muscles but everything else always played dead.
Life has to go on, or at least that is what his mom always said. Or what. He had always wondered why committing suicide was considered a crime in most countries.We make decisions on a day to day basis, some which are causing incredible harm to the body. So is a slow , planned , self killing okay, compared to the quick and easy. At least the quick and easy will save the world off some weight in one shot and save the cash strapped government, some money.
Well, here he was, 7 years after the accident in a housing unit for the disabled. His worker Doug came twice daily to help him with everything. Like a baby he was washed and cleaned and diapered. With his left hand he ate finger foods and spilled all around. Month old carrot sticks can still be found under his bed. His occasional trip to the mall held more value than his much hyped trip to France 10 years ago.
His parents were to visit him today, it was getting to be harder for them to come over now that they were in their eighties. Mom and Dad had moved back to their retirement home in Woodstock just after Mike was admitted to the housing unit, as they could not find a good retirement community out here. Also all their friends were in Woodstock. They made their trip to Mike every Christmas but two days ago mom called to let Mike know that they will be coming over for the day. He thought of all the times that he would crib and get anxious about a potential visit by his parents but now all he felt was excitement. He knew that his mom always tried hard to hide her tears but she was no longer successful in keeping up the wall. It had been almost a year since their last meeting, sadly there were signs of slowing down in dad, even two years ago,.
A couple of years ago, dad walked into his room and told him “to get up” as it was way too late to be staying in bed. It took dad minutes, and puzzled looks from his mom, to figure out his lapse. The two hour drive up to his place seem to knock them down , so he was surprised at the fact that his parents were making an extra trip this year, especially when Christmas is hardly a month away.
He had asked Doug to dress him in a nice shirt and pants and he decided to sit on the wheel chair to wait. He still had all his dress shirts and pants that he used to wear to work, hanging elegantly in the tiny closet. He had thought of giving them away a few times, but he loved the nostalgia that engulfed him , every time he looked at the clothes in the closet. Memories of life, as it was, as it should have been.
Doug had asked Mike to call him when he was ready to get back to bed . He was told that he was starting to have blisters all around his back and hence should be careful. But today he decided to watch the full episode of “ Law and Order” on TV. Mom was supposed to get here before 11 and will be bringing lunch with her as well. A nice break from his frozen meal routine.
The creak of the opening door, woke him from his slumber. The TV was on, he had no idea that the show had ended and something else had already started. The coffee on the side table had also turned awfully cold and nasty. Mom looked terribly old today, Mike looked around for dad, but mom walked in with a young woman.
“Where is dad” his voice sounded quite grotesque, that had been happening a lot as he was not using the vocal chords much anymore. The last time he used his voice was hours ago before Doug left. He cleared his throat and tried again.
Mom came over and hugged him, her tears were showing up.
“Dad is fine honey, he can’t sit in the car for too long”
Mom introduced Tiara , the daughter of her neighbor. Tiara was kind enough to drive mom as she is not able to drive on her own anymore. Mom brought tuna sandwitches and , pasta for lunch and asked him what he wanted to eat first. He did not have the heart to tell her that he was asked by the doctor to stay off the fatty stuff to prevent the weight gain, which was making it harder for Doug to move him. Mom fed him the pasta while Tiara watched. The irony of life, here he was being treated like a three year old while a pretty young woman watched, he would have asked her out on a date by this time, in his previous life.
Tiara did most of the talking as mom was always quiet around him. She seemed uneasy with the overwhelming silence in the room, Tiara talked about the school where she was teaching , the wise cracks by the seven year olds and the changes implemented by the board. He was desperate to ask about her love life and the marital status but he was fully aware of how absurd and impudent it will sound. She was wearing a navy blue shirt with black pants and looked absolutely stunning. He looked at her full lips and firm breasts and tried to hide his wandering gaze. It had been a very long time since a beautiful woman sat down to talk to him. He would have given anything, anything at all, to make love to her.
“Mike I need to talk to you about something important” mom said
Mike shook himself out of his thought world.

Tiara got up and said that she needs to do a little shopping before they return and promised to come back in an hour to pick mom up. She said that she was happy to see Mike and was embarrassed when she brought her hand forward to Mike, to shake his hand, and he struggled to bring his left hand up. She said an awkward sorry, but he was not sorry about that touch.
He watched Tiara’s long , slender frame leave the room. She closed the door gently behind her .
“Dad had not been doing well for some time Mike” mom said
“what do you mean, what is wrong with him”
“well you knew that he had been forgetting things, I can’t handle him anymore”
The silence after, said it all.
“So what are you planning to do mom?”
“He was moved to a nursing home three months ago, he needs full time care”
Mike felt the anger raising up, why was he not told, why didn’t mom talk to him about all this. Well he knew the answer, so what is the point of getting angry.
“ Mike , I am also moving to the same nursing home to be with your dad, I can’t be on my own anymore” Mom had tears in her eyes. “ I can’t be alone anymore son”
Mike often tried to put himself in his mom’s shoes to see the world through her eyes. Must be horrible to not be able to help her son in anyway, did she deserve this. He had said many unkind words to her over the years, but that was the time when he could actually have been there for her. Lost time, what is the point of crying over it.
Mom got up to leave the leftover food in the fridge and left a note under the magnet for Doug to thank him. She came back and hugged him tight. A weakness seem to come over him quite suddenly, he called Doug by pushing the call button.
Doug was there in a few minutes and was happy to see Mike’s mom.
“Oh hello Mrs. Walker, how are you doing”
After the pleasantries Doug and mom moved to one side of the room and talked in low tones. Mike always hated it when people did that, it felt almost like he was a nobody. At the end of their talk Doug shot anxious glances at Mike, what is she telling him ?
Doug helped Mike back on bed while mom used the bathroom. When mom returned Doug gave her hug and left the room promising to come back to check on him a little later. Mom pulled the blanket up to his chest and sat down on the chair beside him.
“Why did all this happen mom”
Years ago he would have laughed if he had heard of a forty five year old man trying to get answers from his mom, but now his mom seemed to be the only person with answers.
“ I don’t know son, I just don’t know” Mom’s sobbing seemed to pull a knot in his chest and he felt as if his whole body was in fire. Well , he was told that he will not feel any pain below his arms, but he did feel the fire that seemed to swallow him.
Tiara’s car came and stopped outside his window.
“Mom, I think your ride is here”
She looked as if she did not hear him for a minute or two, then she looked at him with tear stained face
“ Mike I am moving to the nursing home in a week, I will not be coming over for Christmas”
He knew that , he may not see his parents again, ever , ever again. Should he try and move to the same nursing home as his parents?? Well that might be a first, having a whole family institutionalized. But will he, he had built a routine around him for the past 7 years. He had built a wall all around him, moving out of those walls would be hard.
Mom kissed him on his cheek and walked out with her small black bag. She did not look back, Tiara waved goodbye from the car.
Mike stared at the moving white car until it made a left at the Main street. A maple leaf danced around in the breeze before slowly settling down on the ground.