SNIPPET FROM LIFE…

When Harvey landed in the airport and walked out of the arrival lounge he knew something was wrong. He could not find mom waiting anxiously for his arrival as always. Usually by this time he will see Nancy with her head all white, with a colorful scarf tied loose, wearing a flowery dress, standing with her arms spread wide to hug her youngest son. He always walked into that warm embrace and tight squeeze and then go on chatting about how things are at the barn and how the crops were last year. She also gave him the keys to the car for him to drive them back home.

Harvey looked all around, maybe she wanted a change of place, or surprise him by hiding behind, maybe she is standing somewhere else. He had called home a few days ago to inform that he is coming and had left a very long message about the flight details. Nancy has always been great in responding to messages and mails but this time she hadn’t. The excitement of coming home again had kept him from calling again to confirm that she did get the message. Oh well I can go home and surprise her if she indeed did not know.

It wasn’t busy outside at the cab line and he was able to get into the cab driven by an ethnic man soon after. He started chatting away and Harvey informed him politely that he would prefer to be quiet as he was coming after a long journey and was tired. Not a boo was heard from him for the rest of the trip. He kept the windows slightly open, through the trip to get the cool Canadian air seep into the cab. This trip was sooner than he had expected.

Traffic was not a problem at this time of the day. Late evening on a Sunday is usually good to get around the city. Soon the city was left behind and the small town air hit him. Maybe mom thought I was old enough finally to get home on my own and did not need a grand welcome at the airport. It was with a mix of emotions that he thought of this logic. The youngest of six, he was always treated as a baby and he was rather fond of being treated that way. He was the one his mom openly preferred, and her reason was that he was the only child who did not have a chance to see his dad or be with him, so Nancy tried desperately to give him the love of a mom and dad.

Harvey had been working in construction business in Barbados for some time. He was looking for a change of place and also to open his wings and fly, away from the farm he was raised in. Nancy had never really forgiven him for that and kept hoping that one day he will be back with her to do his share of work. At 26 he wasn’t keen to do so yet, but one day he will because that is HOME.

“We are here”

The sprawling house spread out in front of him. He paid the cabby and walked in. There was light outside, he went up the familiar flight of stairs where he had fallen multiple times as a child and breathed in the HOME AIR. He had never been able to cut himself away from this place. Many a nostalgic memories haunted him whenever he was away from this place. He rang the doorbell and waited for Nancy to open the door. How come she is not waiting outside to welcome him home?

His eldest brother Dave opened the door. He looked tired. Dave hugged Harvey and welcomed him in. What is this guy doing here?? They have never been close and both of them blamed it on the years that separated them.

“Where is mom?” he asked anxiously

He was starting to be worried

“She is inside, you can see her later. First we need to talk”

“Talk about what, I need to see mom”

Harv, listen to me. Let us sit here and talk. I know that you are tired but I need to tell you something.

Everything seemed unreal. Dave wanting to talk, the eerie atmosphere in the house, mom not running out to meet him

“Mom suffered a stroke last week and was brought home from the hospital just yesterday”

Silence……………………..

“But I spoke to her two weeks ago”

“it was a stroke Harv, it happens all of a sudden, She was found on the floor when Camille came to visit. The ambulance took her to the hospital and she was on life support for a few days. The doctor told us that she has only a few days, she has had other complications as well”.

Harvey ran into mom’s room. There she was a sad reminder of the Nancy from the past. Her white hair was all pulled back and she had a tube going into her stomach and a tube coming out for her urine. Her eyes were sunken deep and her body seemed stiff.

“Mom, mom”, Harvey kept calling

“She has not been responding. We brought her home as she had always said that she wanted to die here”.

Die, who is talking about dying. Nancy was 70 years old, too young to die. Harvey had never ever given thoughts to her mom’s mortality. He always thought that mom would be around to bake goodies for children he would have one day. He started to cry, “Mom I am here. I will come back to live in the barn. I will call them up and quit. Tell me about the cows and the crops”

His sisters, Cecilia and Camille came over and hugged him. Harv, let us have something to eat

“Mom?”

“She is tube fed at present, let us eat. You must be tired”

It felt miserable sitting at the long dining table where mom was not there. A small prayer was said and everyone started to eat the spaghetti and bread, which Cecilia had brought over from her home a few doors down the road. Silence had taken over the whole family. Where there was laughter and mirth, silence and pain had taken over.

“Mom’s spaghetti is a lot better”, Harvey said as if in reverie. No one responded, not even Cecilia.

Harvey could not even finish a few morsels. He took the plate to the kitchen, cleaned the rest in the garbage and added it to the dishwasher. The family cat, Pluto meowed lightly.

Harvey went back to mom’s room. Her frail chest was slowly rising and falling. “Mom, wake up”, he said gently.

He sat there watching her. She indeed was an amazing woman, raised 6 kids on her own, made profit from the barn and gave love galore. Ian, who attended the same church after her husband’s death, courted her but she was not interested in another relationship. Ian had promised to raise all six children as his own and not to make too many demands, whatever that means, but Nancy was sure about her decision.

Cecilia came by to say that she was going back to her own home and will be back as soon as possible in the morning and Dave also left as he had to pick up his daughter from Toronto. Camille promised to stay over to help if needed. The caregiver whom they had hired to look after mom came by this time. Harvey told her that she does not need to stay today as he wanted to be alone with mom but she will be paid for the night as well. He saw a flicker of joy on her face, but Camille insisted that she stay, as he can’t change mom’s catheter and diapers on his own.

Mom wearing a diaper, She would hate that. She was always clean and proper. She would wash her hands twice after using the toilet and once again before she starts cooking.

The caregiver, Julia and Camille decided to change mom right now so that everyone can get some sleep. Harvey left the room. He went to the bathroom and cried. He wailed for some time until Camille called him. He came out and was hugged tightly by his sister. They held each other for some time.

“You need to pull it together Harv, you were her favorite”

“I am still her favorite, she is not dead yet, you know”. He wanted to be mad at someone and Camille seemed to be the easy bait.

Camille held on to him and then told him that she was going upstairs to have some sleep. She hadn’t slept well for several days and was tired. She told him that there was bed ready for him upstairs as well. Harvey decided to stay in Nancy’s room and took Julia’s spot on the sofa beside Nancy. He asked Julia to sleep in the family room.

He lay on the sofa and looked at mom. She seemed so peaceful. She has always been a content person. Is she content now?

There were creaking sounds upstairs. This house always made strange noises. Pluto was purring and getting settled on the sofa himself.

Harvey was unsure as to when he fell asleep. His dreams were mixed, in Barbados in Canada; Nancy playing with him and strange dreams of Nancy driving the construction truck in the building site without a helmet and he called out “Mom!”

Harvey woke up in sweat. He saw Nancy move, in that dim light he saw that she was looking at him. Her hand slowly raised and he heard her call, “Harv my son”.

He extended his hand to hold on to her hand and soon the hand fell.

“Mom, mom, mom”

There was one deep breath and then……… Nancy was gone

He felt like he was choking, choking with emotions. He held on to that frail hand and massaged that hand, in circles just like she always liked it. He stayed there with her singing in very low voice. Let Camille and Julia sleep.

Mom, I wanted to tell you all about Susan. I love her mom.

He looked anxiously at Nancy for a response. Not sure how long he stayed like that. Camille came down the stairs to make sure that everything was all right. She came over to the room without turning on the light not wanting to wake him up. In the faint light of the night lamp she saw him massaging mom’s hand. She turned on the light and started to check mom’s vitals and turned pale.

“When, when did this happen?”

I don’t know, some time back. She called me before she left

Camille ran out of the room and started to make phone calls. Julia also woke up and came over.

Camille came back and said, Dr Williams will be here soon. He had asked us to call whenever there is a need. Lights in the house were turned on soon. People started to arrive, Dr Williams pronounced Nancy “dead”.

Harvey told Dave, “She called me before she died”

“Not possible. Doctors had said that she was in a permanent vegetative state”

“But she did”

Funeral arrangements were made. Two of his brothers could not make it, as they were too busy but sent condolence cards. Mom was buried right beside dad whom he had never seen. Bread served with tea smelled right and fresh. People came by to talk but Harvey did not want to. He moved away to the piano, which Nancy was very fond of. She would have liked to have a song played for her right now.

Harvey sat on the bench beside the piano and started to play.

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